My heart is empty

Mmm.....my heart is empty, it is true cos i don't feel like i have feelings for anyone.  What i mean is i am a "cold-blooded" person, how pathetic.....i wish i can learn how to care about someone with my love but i just can't do it cos i have no FEELING at all! Well, i'm always looking for someone to fill my heart with their love cos i just need some love to make me a better person but not a harsh person. However, when someone is trying to fill my heart with her/his love, i feel weird, i feel so uncomfortable and therefore i have rejected them in a very harsh way.  What's wrong with me? I find myself so insecure and i am not willing to let people who cares about me to join my life! I know i am so selfish that i am not willing to share my life with others and i really feel bad for that.=(  Well, having an empty heart with me is no fun at all, i mean i can feel my heartbeat but i can't feel anything else more than that...so, my heart is basically NOTHING.  If i have "nothing" in my heart, that would be no fun in my life, the whole life.  I think i need something to cure my heart cos my heart is sick. Maybe, i should start to put more trust on my friends, i should trust them that they will fill my heart with their 100 percent pure love! That's the only way....i think....maybe....perhaps.....

                                              I'm kinda addicted to this lovely music

I miss my home already =((

Arghh, when can i go back to Malaysia? =((( I just can't stand it anymore cos i miss my family so much and i really need someone to teach me on how to make time go by faster! >.< I think i have enough fun at here and now i just want to get back to my parents side and stay with them cos i really MISS them, it sounds weird for me to say that but it is so TRUE! =) Well, i may look tough, independent but deep inside my heart, i am just a little kid who need someone to take care of me, especially my family.  I know this is ridiculous cos i am 20 years old and i still depend on everyone, i know i should not rely on someone too much but i just can't.....well, that's me!  I just want to go back to Malaysia, my home and i wanna lie in my king size bed cos i miss my bed too! =(

                                     *Anyway, that's me when i was small, look cute, huh? =P

I am busy

I have been so busy lately =( I really hate myself for being so busy in doing assignment, homework, presentation and research.  Sigh, my life is lack of fun, i don't wish to study all the time cos this is so crazy, well, gaining knowledge is fun but gaining knowledge in a "forced situation" is a headache to me.  I am so busy until i can't take a break to chat with my family and my parents keep complaining about this issues, like" How come you are so busy that you can't spare some time to chat with us?" I know they wanted to talk to me so badly as i did not  talk to them for a long time, i know i should not let them down but i am REALLY BUSY! I wish i can finish this semester earlier so that i can go back to Malaysia and accompany them cos they need my attention. =) I hate my life for being so busy, i need to RELAX now! 

I am not HAPPY =(

I am not happy because i do not know how to differentiate between what is right and wrong.
I am not happy because my life is complicated.
I am not happy because my true friends aren't my true friends.
I am not happy because someone have wronged me.
I am not happy because i started to revenge on my friends who have wronged me which i think that i should not do that.
I am not happy because i find out the ugly truth about my friends.
I am not happy because my friend is a hypocrite.
I am not happy because i cannot find anyone to trust.
I am not happy because i cannot move on with my life.

I am not happy because i HATE myself.  I am just not happy with my life =(
The truth is " I get tired of finding the truth".

I want to be a koala bear =P

Why do i want to become a KOALA BEAR? =P This is because koala bear can sleep all the time (almost 20 hour per day) and the most important thing is they do not need to wake up early and GO TO LECTURE! =)))  Anyway, i sleep all the time during my holidays (winter break) and i think i'm kinda addicted to sleep since it is a lovely activity.  Everybody loves it =D  However, i still feel tired even though i have slept enough which is not a good sign.  Duh~my friends always tell me that they feel so SICK after knowing that i have spent so much time for sleeping, haha, well, you guys just can't help with it. XD  So, my friends always called me "BEAR" because bear hibernate in the WINTER.  Well, actually i feel sick too cos my school starts next week and i'm kinda afraid that i can't wake up early for the morning lecture class T.T No!!!!!!!  Maybe i should buy more alarm clocks so that i won't late for my lecture otherwise i will skip all my morning lecture for my next semester, is anyone willing to give me a morning call? XD That's why i say being a koala bear isn't bad at all cos what they need to do for their daily life is EAT AND SLEEP! So lucky >.< Lol, some of my friends even laugh at me for sleeping too much because they feel that i look nerdy after sleeping, so SAD!  Stow it!!